AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize