What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
