Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I smell stomach acid.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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