Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
