How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
