She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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