You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize