Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
