So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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