did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize