I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
