Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
