I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
