You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
