Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
