So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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