So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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