What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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