11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
