Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
