I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
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