It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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