i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
