Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
