Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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