Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
