I wish I could punch you in the face.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
