Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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