i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
