Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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