He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
