I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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