its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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