Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
