if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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