yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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