look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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