she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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