"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
