She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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