i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
