Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
