after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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