drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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