I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
