he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
