his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
