Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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