dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
