I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He felt like a one man threesome
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
