did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
