mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
only if we run a train.
done.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
