Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
