Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
