I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
pop tarts are not kleenex
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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