birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
