Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
