I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
