ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
