Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
