he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
