Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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