You smell like a Billy Joel song
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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