I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
