the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Randomize