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• (917): View more from New York City

  Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.

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• (714): View more from California

  You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool

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• (310): View more from California

  Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide

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• (754): View more from Florida

  Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...

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• (509): View more from Washington

  This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?

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• (760): View more from California

  I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.

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