Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize