he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize