do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
