im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
