she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize