I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize